This is a guest post by Chase Fleming of Wherever Worker.
We all know that flying isn’t easy. Well, actually, it is – there’s really nothing easier, unless you have a tough time sitting in a chair and reading a book for a few hours.
Unfortunately, some people can’t even get that right. They end up frustrating and annoying their fellow passengers by picking up one of these annoying behaviors, usually within the first five minutes of a seven-hour flight.
1. Constantly Get In and Out of Your Seat.
Maybe you get a little nervous when you fly. Maybe you need to make sure that your jar of jelly beans didn’t just burst all over the overhead compartment during some turbulence. Maybe you spent too much time at the airport bar, and you need to make the occasional trip to the bathroom.
Whatever the case, there is no good reason to constantly get in and out of your seat during a flight, especially if you’ve got a window seat. If you’re sick, ask to switch with the guy on the aisle–only a complete jerk would refuse.
2. Talk About Flight Delays, Plane Crashes or Other Air Travel Negatives.
Some travelers worry about flying, and it doesn’t take much to put them on edge. If you’re going to say something like, “Boy, I’ve never heard a WORKING engine sound like that,” better just keep your mouth shut.
While we’re on the subject, pay attention to your fellow travelers. If they don’t look like they’re ready for some lighthearted conversation, bury your nose in a book. Some people travel on only a few hours’ sleep, and they need to nap for a few minutes before hearing about your trip to Branson, Missouri.
3. Treat Flight Attendants Like Waiters.
Flight attendants work harder than you realize. Sure, they spend a lot of time pushing a drink cart up and down the aisle, but they also have to deal with airsick businessmen, loud babies and panicking first-time fliers. They’re helping hundreds of people at once, and the last thing that they need is someone complaining about the time it takes them to bring a gin and tonic.
Be patient. Relax, enjoy the sound of your eardrums popping and give the poor flight attendant at least 5 minutes to walk up and down the entire length of a 747 before you start complaining.
4. Bathe In Perfume (Or Not Bathe at All).
A plane is a terrible place to try to find a date. You don’t need perfume, cologne, body spray or anything else that will clog up your fellow passengers’ nostrils.
On the other hand, nobody will complain if you apply some unscented deodorant before catching your flight. You’re sharing your space with other people, so if flies routinely follow you around, hop in the shower before you board.
5. Sugar-Up Your Kids.
Veteran travelers realize that flying with kids isn’t very much fun for parents. We know that you don’t have complete control over them, and if a baby cries or a toddler acts up, there’s not too much you can do.
Unless, of course, you’ve decided to give them candy, confectioner’s sugar and black coffee for breakfast. If you’re one of those parents who makes no effort to keep their kids calm and relaxed, do everyone a favor and travel by horse and buggy for your next family vacation.